Fathers typically attend birth as one of the following:
· Coach – the main support, directing additional support persons, the one with the highest involvement with the mother
· Teammate – partnering with additional support, willing to do what needs to be done
· Witness-- observing, unsure of comfort or involvement abilities
The role of the father at birth can be largely influenced by the father’s personality, but it can also be affected by the education in the pregnancy and birth process. What roll do you want to play as the father? Are you actively choosing that roll or is it your roll by default?
Fathers need to be informed, involved, respected, and supported to be the best labor coaches possible. If this is the role you and the mother see for yourself, share with your birth team how they can best support you. There is a direct correlation between a father’s participation in pregnancy and birth and his satisfaction with his role as Father.
Fear of the unknown surrounds birth; the majority of men have never seen a birth before the birth of their own child. Most would not be surprised to know that in a recent research study 50% of dads were nervous, anxious, and restless. However, that same study found that fathers who are involved in the birth also have feel overwhelming amount of love and gratefulness for their wives through the birthing process.
It’s important to acknowledge the profound heart of men for the natural protectors they are and the deep sense of responsibility they hold for their families. However, childbirth can be unfamiliar to many men, and It’s helpful to know that the birth of your child is equally strenuous on you as it is on your partner, though perhaps in different ways. Even though the stress is different than what the mother experiences, it is no less valid and deserves recognition and discussion.